The Word Queer

 Thoughts on Please don’t use the Q-word

“I suspect that many of the others, like me, consider the term to be insulting and derogatory, and certainly not “reclaimed”. I am a gay man of 66 years with many friends and acquaintances, and know no one who would refer to themselves as queer… You wouldn’t use the N-word, so don’t use the Q-word.” - Karl Lockwood 

To begin, it’s important to acknowledge that “queer” is an identity. To me, the Q in the LGBTQ acronym stands for queer or questioning. To erase that or make it a derogatory term is blatant homophobia and to think that it comes from someone within the community is disheartening. For Lockwood to say he “know[s] no one who would refer to themselves as queer,” puts himself at the center of this–just because he does not know someone who identifies as queer does not mean queer people don’t exist. He groups everyone into one group, saying that he suspects many others would consider queer to be an insulting term, which immediately follows with him saying he’s been a gay man for 66 years. Perhaps there is a disconnect with queer culture nowadays for him. Perhaps in his own fight for justice, queer was used against him. Now, it is an identity. It is a group, a community, and it’s difficult to see one older, white, gay man attempt to erase that.

Karl Lockwood’s identity clearly plays an incredibly huge role in his statement. While I am not attempting to undermine any struggles with his queer identity he may have had in the past, I feel as though that is no excuse to consider queer a slur. In his fight for justice, it may have brought pain and hate, but for me and many other LGBTQ+ community members, it means hope and justice. It not only has the ability to describe the lives of many, but also the political and social climate of the world. It allows people to identify themselves as part of the community without feeling the need to put a label on their sexuality–some people may feel as though labeling themself would be constricting themselves to a box. When considering Lockwood’s race (white) the last sentence is especially interesting. First of all, he groups the “Q-word” with the N-word, which will never be on the same level of harm. This is not to say that “queer” has not hurt anyone, but it is to say that queer has not been considered a bad term by the general public for decades. In the early to mid aughts (and occasionally even now), “gay” was considered an insult. To say “You’re so gay,” translated to “You’re effeminate, you like things women like, you’re not a real man.” Based on Lockwood’s logic, we should be considering gay to be a derogatory term as well… right? 

Wrong. Lockwood himself identifies as a gay man, meaning that because he exists and identifies as that, it is not an insulting term. It just says so much that a white man thinks he has a say over the vernacular and identity of so many people. Erasing that would erase an entire group of people–just because their identity is internal, doesn’t mean they aren’t there.